The talk
by CatchingStar
Summary: Something happen to catherine and Sara is concern, but she didn't expect she was the problem. Ps: I'm not use to write in english so maybe there is a few errors... sorry.


It's been a while sense I last saw that beautiful smile. The one who enlighten the room and make you breathless. The one you feel the need to reattribute even in your worst's days. You wanna know the owner of the smile? I tell you, is the most sexy, difficult, caring, passionate, stubborn woman that I ever known… Catherine Willows.

An ex-stripper who becomes an investigator at the Las Vegas crime lab, the second best I'm add. Losing only to Gil Grissom, the 'brain men' that has just one fall: any social skills. She, on the other hand, knows exactly how to be social. She listen, joke, laugh and smile to everyone around her.

Well, with me, it's not very often. She definitively knows how to get under my shin. A few words and I feel the urge need to jump at her neck. But at the same time - and that the weird part – make me wanna kiss. How one person can have such kind of power? I don't know, but she has. I watch her at distant and she probable doesn't know that but I do and I can tell: something is very wrong this week!

I was ready to fight for answers when I enter the locker room but all my straight when down the river when I saw her crying at the bench. She realizes fast my presence and try hide the tears, but of course it is useless. I don't say anything. Just sit at her side and grab her right hand. Instead of flinch or ask me to leave her alone, she look at the hands with intensity. She seems so lost and week and I never expected see her like that.

My heart is screaming for answer, badly but the only thing I could say was:

"Come on, I will take you home"

She nod and gets up. Place the badge and gun at the locker and grab her purse. Closing the padlock she looks at the floor and then to me, smiling a little. That's a start

I open the passenger door for her and start to drive away.

I watch her search for the key from her house. She is getting impatient it second by and I decide to help. I stop her movements and asking for permission, that she consent, I reach for the key. I open the door and let her past first.

She put the belongings at the table in front at the door and finally loses all the control that she was trying to create sense we left the lab. She puts the hand in her mouth and starts to cry. I push her toward me for a hug and she hold thigh. I don't know how much time we stud like that but its feels good. Eventually she cool down and releases me.

"I'm sorry" she says without looking at me. "I didn't mean to…"

"It's ok Cat. Really" I say putting a few hairs behind her ear. "If there is anything I can do…"

"Would you stay with me tonight?" she asks. Between all the things she could ask, I didn't see that coming.

"What about your daughter or your sister?"

"Lindsey is at a friend and Nancy is out of town with my mother. Please Sara! I don't want to be alone!" Her eyes were watering again and I had to stop so I raise her head so she can look at my eyes when I speak this time.

"I will stay as long as you need, ok? You can always trust me Cat. Always" she nod.

"I'm… going to take a quick shower, but you… can pick anything you like at the fridge... And make some coffee too."

"Hum, I definitely would like that!" I say with a smile. She nod and disappears in to the room at the left side. Damn, she is broken! I sign and look around the house

The last time I was here was in a Christmas party after Eddy died. Catherine wasn't in the mood for leave the house and she thought that it would be better for Lindsey too, if they throw that party in her house. It was the best Christmas I ever had. However, the house was full decorated... I walk every room with a smile in the face. This place has her face, bright colors, beautiful fortunate's, photograph's all over the wall – of her and Lindsey; her, Lindsey and a woman with brow hairs (the similarities between the adult are incredible so she has to be Catherine's sister); places that she has been around the world, and a few of the guys at the lab. The house is very cozy.

In the kitchen I put the coffee at the machine. I can't help but smile about how good it feel be at her place, of how much I'd love to spend more time with Catherine cuddle up to her every night and protect her from the evils of the world. To wake up with her every morning, because however bad the rest of the day is, if your face is the first thing I see in the morning, things won't seem so bad. I would love to take her out and show her off. To kiss her till we're both breathless. But most of all, I want to be with her because she make everything seem so much more worthwhile.

"Dream on Sidle. Dream on" I say dismissing the thoughts.

"Dream about what?" Catherine asks. I turn around and she is waiting for an answer, using a white robe that shows a little about her cleaverage and her hair is wet, she is so beautiful…

"It's nothing really" I finally say. "Here is the coffee"

She picks the mug and goes to the living room. I follow her and we both set at the couch. She sign and looks at the coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The sadness again vivid in her eyes.

"Why don't you let the people in, Sara?" What? Where that came from? "Every time people ask about how you're doing, or what you are thinking, not work related, you say 'fine' and 'nothing' or don't really answer. Do you think they don't care enough to get a real answer from you?"

"Look Cat, I'm sorry but I didn't come here to talk about me. You are the one who is hurt because something or someone did that to you, and if you want to talk about it, let's talk. Otherwise…"

"You don't get it, do you?" she asks angry.

"Get what?" I shout back.

"That not have you around, even as just a friend, hurt like hell? That I want a chance to know you, the real you? God, how can you be so… blind?" she gets up and start walk in to the room. Jesus! What a roller coaster I'm in. I need absolve everything and…

"Could you please stop that and sit!" She does that and I sign deep. "I need time to think this throw, ok?"

"Ok, but can you think at loud for once? Please!"

"Right. Well, I thought that you had problem with Lindsey again (fight at school) or a case that really got into your system or I don't know, anything that not include me" She open her mouth to say something but I raise my hand and she stop. "If you want be my friend why you didn't ask me to have breakfast so we could talk, for example?"

"I try a few times but you always said 'no' so I stop trying. And that's hurts too because I manage to reach everyone but you".

"Why didn't you try calling me?"

"Fear that you think I was playing with you and I didn't want receive a 'no' again"

"I see."

"I didn't mean for you to find out about me in the locker room, you know?" she says smiling a little. "But I was happy that it wasn't anybody else. It wouldn't make any difference if it was. And I'm saying the truth Sara. I miss have you in my life".

I get up and goes to the window. I like do that when I'm thinking. She doesn't say anything but I can sense she is calm now. Witch is good because, although I like when we argued, I prefer much more like this.

"I was a little surprise about how good it feels to be here" I say after awhile. "At the kitchen" I explain "I was feeling good and thinking that I want to be part of your life"

"But?"

"There are thing that… I don't know if… I'm too difficult to deal with Cat. And there are truly horrible at my past that most people don't even imagine. Thing I didn't get over yet. And…"

"You or someone very close to you was abuse, wasn't it? Your mother maybe?" I look at her socked. "After we fought about that case that got you suspended, I need to know so I…"

"You look at my file?"

"I thought about that but no. I would be betraying you"

"You damn right"

"But I love you to much to do that. So I just start to put the pieces together. You get angry with every man that raises a hand to a woman and you never talk about your family. You don't trust anyone completely, not even Grissom. You work so hard because you don't want to think about the past. Everything seems to justify your actions"

"If you knew all this why did you ask me why I don't open up to people?" I turn again

"I want to hear from you. I put the pieces but they can be at the wrong place and only you can fulfill the vacuum. So, who it was?"

"Both" I sign.

"I'm sorry"

"He was a drunker and loses his patience a lot. But one day he stop, better yet, she stop him with a knife from the kitchen. And that is all"

"Thank you" she says hugging me from behind. "I know it's hard to remember and I didn't like what I heard but now I know why you are so independent, reserve and amazing"

"Amazing?"

"Of course. How many people commit suicide with so less?"

"So you don't think I'm a lose cannonwith a gun, like Ecklie said?"

"No. Not for a minute. Besides, he is a jerk" I laugh and I see, through the window, the big smile in her face. The one I was waiting for.

"Come on, let's get ready to bed"

"You want to sleep with me?"

"Yes. That's why I ask you to stay. Is there a problem?"

"No but…"

"I won't do anything you don't want to. I promise."

"Even if I didn't want…?"

"I will accept what you can give me. As friends or not"

"Ok"

That was not what I expected when I came to Catherine's house but I won't complain. Not for a minute.

The End


End file.
